It’s been a difficult few days, to say the least.
After an incredible trip to Barcelona, my friends and I were all set to have a really fun second half of our spring break. Daphne and I went on a day trip to Brighton, an adorable coastal town, on Wednesday, where we did a lot of shopping and got to wander around the city a bit. At about 4 o’clock, as we were grabbing tea before catching our train at 5, we got an email delivering the news that our program was being cancelled.
The poor woman making our drinks was so kind and asked us if we were okay as Daphne sat in shock and I burst out sobbing. I took my hot chocolate, and Daphne took her tea, and we walked back to the train station in a daze, barely able to believe that this was really happening. Just thirty minutes ago we had been talking about how we were pretty sure we’d get to finish the semester, or at least make it a few more weeks, and now we were waiting to get tickets for flights back to the US within the next three days.
The last 48 hours in London were a whirlwind as we ran around the city doing everything we could to make the most of our last few days. When we got back from Brighton, I went shopping to get a jacket I had been wanting all semester. The next day, we went to get a full English breakfast and go to Camden Market, where we did a lot more shopping and I drank the best hot chocolate I’ve ever had (it was more like a melted chocolate bar than an actual drink). I also got to attend an event celebrating 19 charities in the UK, including Smart School Councils, where I’ve been interning this semester. All these charities were being awarded for their work in promoting democracy. It was an amazing night, and I got to meet some people who are doing incredible work to get more people involved in democracy, which was truly inspiring.
A hot chocolate topped with homemade marshmallow fluff… Quite possibly the most life-changing part of the abroad experience tbh 
The Camden Market umbrellas
On Friday, I walked 14 miles as I went all over the city checking things off of my London bucketlist. I walked across Tower Bridge, took the Metropolitan line over to Hyde Park (it was the only tube line I hadn’t taken yet), went to Pieminister to get a gluten free shortcrust pie, took the tube out to Kew Gardens to see their orchid display, and got off the train a bit early on the way back so I could walk over Westminster Bridge one last time. Here is a collage of bad selfies and pictures of me around London that I made a bunch of strangers take:
Finally got to walk across Tower Bridge 
Walked through Hyde Park, where I had some terrifying encounters with some bold geese and swans 
One of my last Tube rides for a while… 
Enjoyed a beautiful orchid display at Kew Gardens (though of course I’m still partial to Longwood!)
GF shortcrust pie complete with mash, definitely in the Top 5 of my meals in London 
Saying goodbye to Big Ben (although I never actually got to see his face as it’s been under construction for years) 
A beautiful day for one last walk over the Thames
It was a really tiring day, and while I had fun, I also did a lot of processing and grieving for the next two months I won’t get to spend in this amazing city. I firmly believe that Notre Dame is making the right decision in bringing us home; in all the craziness that’s going on, it’s so much safer to have us back at home before things escalate even more. Still, it’s incredibly difficult to come to terms with the fact that my time in London has been cut short. I knew that the semester would go by fast, but two months ago, no one could have predicted that we’d only make it through half of the term.
In working through all of that in my head, I must admit that I spent a good bit of time on my last day in London crying in public. I certainly got some strange looks in coffee shops and on the tube as I sat and took a few minutes to shed some tears. What I’ve found over the last few days is that this new reality kept hitting in waves: one minute I’d be fine, having fun with my friends, and then I would suddenly remember how little time we had left and would get emotional all over again.
Yesterday morning, as our bus to the airport pulled away from our dorm and we drove through the city to Heathrow, I sat and sobbed as I remembered how excited and overwhelmed I had felt two months earlier making that exact same drive in the opposite direction. Much to my surprise, however, I realized that mixed in with the sadness, part of me was crying happy tears too as I took the time to look back on how amazing and life-changing these last nine weeks have been.
I have so much to be grateful for at the end of this big adventure. I have gotten closer to friends I had before, and I have formed many wonderful new friendships, too. I have gotten to travel to so many beautiful places. And more than anything, I have grown so much as a person and pushed myself to do things that I never imagined I would be able to say I could do.
I definitely want to write more about that sometime soon, but for now, I’m going to take a bit more time to process all the things that have happened this semester and organize my thoughts into something more coherent than my jet-lagged brain is currently capable of creating! Thank you for reading; I hope this blog post wasn’t too much of a downer! I hope everyone stays safe and healthy, and I will be back with some more thoughts in a few days!
Eileen's London Semester 
Eileen, your post was so genuine and as a person who stifles tears, I applaud your ability to embrace tears and the events that bring them to our eyes. Leaving London had to be hard but you will return to London and so many other wonderful cities. Your appetite for travel will not be sated now that you’ve tasted the joy of the world and how it moves and lives.
Just a note on the Tear Topic, this meditation comes from a very spiritual man I know and seems apropos.
From the Lakota Tribe and while it speaks to men, it works for all of us.
“We must relearn how to cry. A strong man cries; it is the weak man who holds back his tears.”
–Archie Fire Lame Deer, LAKOTA
Indian men and other men should really meditate on this Elder’s saying. So many men have been taught it is unmanly to cry, to show emotions or to feel. When people cry, the Elders say there are two types of tears: one type will taste salty; the other type will taste sweet. One is caused by pain, and the other is caused by the release from the pain, or joy tears. A strong man knows himself and knows his relationship with the Great Spirit. The release of tears is a spiritual act. Our bodies are designed to cry. We should honor our bodies and use them as the Creator intended.
Great Spirit, Grandfather, today, teach me to cry.
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